


In The Refuge of Your Arms

by Pastelrogue



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, And Varric makes sure it all works out, Angst, Brief Violence, Cassandra Pentaghast Ships It, Cassandra runs the bookshop, Confident Cullen, Dorian gets in the way, F/M, Fluff, Inquisitor & Dorian Pavus Friendship, Memory Loss, Modern Thedas, Parental Varric Tethras, Police Officer Cullen, Slow Burn, Smut, Solas Being an Asshole, Temporary Amnesia, slightly cracky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-03-06 11:49:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13410648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pastelrogue/pseuds/Pastelrogue
Summary: After realising her relationship with Solas is a sham of what it once was, Lavellan runs away to the city, to do what she's not quite sure yet.However before she even make it a day in the seedy underbelly of Kirkwall disaster strikes, leaving her even more lost than she had been before.





	1. Chapter One - Escape

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing this pairing so I'm very nervous to see what you all think. CC is desperately welcomed!
> 
> Also Solas in this is not a nice guy, and if you are uncomfortable with psychological abuse or gaslighting please read with caution. It is only present in the first chapter, and will feature again in later chapters but I will try to keep it brief where possible.

The room was silent save for the occasional scrape of a spoon against ceramic, or Solas's slow and purposeful turning of the newspaper. 

She glared at him from across the breakfast table, her eyes boring a hole in the paper's front page. Some starlet had been spotted out late again, her hair mussed and make up smeared, but she was gazing adoringly at some man on her arm and looked perfectly content. She wondered what it felt like.

Looking down at her food ( _plain oatmeal, a dash of honey, anything more would be indulgent Da'len_ ) she thought to the rest of her day. Her morning would consist of cleaning up while Solas sorted through emails and other correspondences. At lunch, she would prepare something wholesome, nutritious and utterly void of joy as she did every day. They would eat together, quietly. She would ask him if he had read anything interesting and he would talk for a while about an article he enjoyed or something he heard about through a friend. He would then ask how her morning had been and she would say the same thing she said every day. That it was fine. She would clean up and then she would wait until Solas went into his studio to paint. She would then throw on her trainers and would indulge in the one moment of freedom she could enjoy.

Solas had moved them to an isolated manor in the Fereldan highlands. It was an ageing property but Solas had decided to try fix it up, and recently he'd started to decorate many of the hallways and open spaces with various murals. He had tried to convince her to join him but art had never been a talent of hers. Instead she ran. She explored the surrounding valley, the wind whipping through her hair as her feet spirited her away from the looming castle in the distance. Today she had stopped by a lake. It was the furthest she had ventured since they had first moved here. Gazing out across the idyllic water she imagined herself on a small row boat, drifting aimlessly across the crystalline blue. Sighing to herself she removed her earphones and closed her eyes, basking in the peaceful ambience of nature. It was so easy to forget the oppressive fog that seemed to cling to her whenever she returned to Skyhold. Toeing the snow beneath her trainers she popped her earphones back in, the steady rhythm accompanying her as she headed back towards her home.

After her shower, she began to put together dinner. She could hear Solas humming to himself down the corridor, annoyingly at peace with the world. She knew it wasn't truly the case. They didn't talk about it but she knew about his nightmares. She often caught him staring into the distance, a pained frown tugging at his noble features. As she chopped herbs for dinner she wondered when it was she'd fallen out of love with him. She'd felt empty for so long. Listless. Without purpose.

When he had asked her to move here with him it had seemed so exciting. Any doubts or concerns she had had prior to the move he'd dismissed with a flourish, instead feverishly whispering to her about how finally they could be together openly, how she would no longer have to deal with her families misplaced concerns, their well-meaning pleas for her to abandon Solas. At the time, she hadn't seen the choice that lay before her clearly. How could she ever leave him? He had given her so much, taught her so much. Even when the lawsuits had cropped up and the company had been liquidised, she couldn't just abandon her role by his side. It was where she had belonged. And when the dust had settled he had finally, _finally_ , reciprocated her longing adoration. Without the restraints of company policy he had said, they could finally be together. No longer his assistant, but his lover.

Thinking of his promises now only left a bitter taste in her mouth. She looked down at the chopping board, absently realising she had been stood still for several minutes, her task long forgotten. The thought of leaving outright terrified her. She had savings but not enough to support herself for more than a few months. She could get a job though. Somewhere in the city. She could connect with people, find somewhere to live, away from this prison. Yes, it was a start. It was better than nothing.

Putting down the knife she followed the gentle cadence of Solas' voice as he sang along with the radio. Finding him in one of the spare bedrooms she watched for a moment as he carefully applied the handmade paints to the plastered wall. The room was filled with vivid colours, stark lines and bold shapes. So unlike the reserved passions of the artist 

"Can we talk?"

Solas turned, a benevolent smile gracing thin lips. "Of course Vhenan, what is it you wish to discuss?"

Tucking her hands into her front jeans pockets she looked up, trying to ignore his indulgent expression. "I think- I'd like to get a job. I'm feeling trapped here. I think it would be good for me to return to work."

Solas softly put down his brush and paints, turning fully to face her. His arms crossed and a familiar expression of distaste unfurled. "You feel trapped? Why would you say something like that? Do you not leave the castle each day to run? Do you not have full reign over everything in our home?"

"But Solas, I need people. This isolation might suit you but I miss the busy energy of the city. Surely you understand? I need something to challenge me again. I'm so..."

"No Vhenan, I do not think it would be wise. What would you do besides? It pains me but with your previous work history at Fen'Harel Communications people may not be so eager to hire you."

She bit her lip in frustration, her heart beating wildly in her chest. She hated this. He always did this. He always dismissed her like this. Why did she let him do this? Today would be different. Today she'd speak up.

"Solas it's not like I'm asking for the moon. It's just a job. I could find work in a different industry, I could find work-"

"As what? A receptionist perhaps? Or maybe you could get work in a coffee shop? Da'len, please. See reason. Perhaps I could enquire amongst my circle and see if anyone can help. How about a charitable cause? You're always complaining I don't do enough good with the money we have, how about you find something to support? You could even work from home."

Flinching at the patronising endearment she grit her teeth, temper rising. "But that's just it, I need to get out of this place. I'm suffocating here Solas, you're suffocating me!" She didn't mean to raise her voice, she didn't mean to let her emotions get the better of her like that. Hot tears pricked at her eyes and she felt her cheeks blush, revealing her shame at the outburst.

Solas narrowed his eyes at her, his gaze calculating as he tried to work out a different tactic. He approached her like one would a cornered animal, his arms wide and placating.

"Vhenan, what is this about? This isn't like you at all, you're normally so happy and peaceful." Stepping closer she blinked back tears of frustration as his graceful hands cupped her face, tilting her head to look upon him. The way he was stood his head blocked out the afternoon sun that streamed in through the vast windows lining the western wall. The light surrounded his head like a twisted halo. Clenching her fists against her thighs she willed herself to calm down. She wouldn't let him control yet another conversation between them.

"Calm down now Vhenan, you're getting upset over nothing."

"But it's not nothing to me." The words were barely a whisper between as she closed her eyes against his steady gaze. Solas stroked a thumb against her cheek, catching the falling tears.

"Come now Da'len, find peace. We are together are we not? We have our freedom together, we live a solitary life but isn't that what we agreed was best before?"

"You felt it was best, not me."

Solas hushed her, bringing her close to embrace her shaking form. He rested his chin upon her crown rocking her like one might a scared child. Long fingers carded through her hair as he provided his false comforts.

"Da'len, I know you will be happier at home with me. Out there people will want to know your past and you will have to face the endless questions about what happened. You had to endure that before and didn't you say how much you struggled? Why risk putting yourself through that again? Why don't you go calm down, find solace in your chores. Think on what I said about funding a charity, you can still have your own work but you won't have to deal with the prying eyes like you would in an office."

Pressing a dry kiss to her forehead Solas stepped back, seemingly pleased that he had diffused her temper adequately. Giving her assent with a jerky nod, she turned back towards the kitchen, her mind barely registering her surroundings as she tried to sort through her tumultuous thoughts. She wasn't going to do this anymore. She thought back to her parents’ warnings and her chest heaved with the wave of regret that hit her. She gripped onto the kitchen island counter, breathing deeply as she tried to think on what to do. Grabbing at her phone on the counter she thumbed through her contacts, hovering over the number for a local taxi service. Steeling herself she hit call, hoping that she was making the right decision. For once.

 

* * *

 

The journey in the middle of the night had passed her by like a hazy dream, already fading in her memory as she grabbed her bag from the overhead hold. Filing out of the plane with the group of equally weary travellers, she yawned as she was struck by the muggy city air. Gritting her teeth, she followed the Kirkwall City Airport signage to baggage claims to collect the hastily packed suitcase she'd brought with her. She had been infinitely grateful for her carefully managed savings account, the cost of the flight having been extortionate when she had arrived at the flight desk. She hadn't thought on the destination at the time, she had only thought to get out of Fereldan as quickly as she could.

The information desk had pointed her in the right direction for a hostel and so she had trudged onwards, directions sloppily copied onto a scrap of paper clutched tight in clammy hands. As she stepped out into the city it was still dark, the sun yet to begin it's morning climb. Despite this her clothes were already sticking uncomfortably to her skin, distracting her as she trekked through dimly lit streets.

Looking down at the directions she grimaced as she realised her sweat had smudged the ink, leaving her stood at the mouth of what could be an alleyway, or what could have been the shortcut the desk staffer had mentioned. Hoping for the best she decided to follow the alleyway, hoping that she was getting closer to the hostel. She was so focused on working out the smudged instructions she didn't hear the stealthy footsteps padding up behind her. It wasn't until she felt the cold sting of a blade at her throat that she even noticed she wasn't alone.

"Well well well, dangerous time of night for a little knife-ear to be out on her own wouldn't you say?"

"P-please don't hurt me. Take what you want, please... please don't hurt me!"

There were two of them, someone else was grabbing at her bags, tearing the phone from her hand before they started rifling through her belongings. Her ambushers seemed to communicate to each other through a serious of grunts and looks, eventually the press of the knife lessened against her neck.

She briefly considered running, but fear had rooted her to the ground, her feet unable to move even the slightest bit. Trembling she closed her eyes, whispering a prayer to gods she didn't believe in, hoping that someone would show her some mercy. She wasn't ready to die, least of all in some stinking alley in Kirkwall of all places. Absently she realised that if she did die Solas had no way of finding out where she had even gone.

The hands around her lithe frame readjusted, the knife dipping away before returning to her neck.

"Pretty little thing aren't ya? Got a lot of shiny little trinkets in that bag of yours. Should keep us happy for quite a while. Don't fret though, I'm not the sort to dirty myself with your kind so consider this your lucky day. 

A dark chuckle and a sharp pain at the back of her head and then the world went dark.

 

* * *

 

She woke up to a splitting headache, her mouth feeling fuzzy and dry. Gingerly she sat up, scared fingers prodding at the congealed blood on the back of her skull. Wincing she looked around. Hazy daylight was breaking through the sparse breaks in the skyline above, the chaotic sounds of a city waking up filling the humid air. Looking around she could see the men who'd mugged her had taken everything with them, leaving only an empty suitcase filled with some socks. Her handbag was gone, along with her phone and all her money. The hostel directions she had held onto so dearly the night before were lying in a nearby puddle, completely useless to her now.

Choking back a sob or terror she stood up on shaking legs, glancing around once more before following the alleyway out to the main road. The main causeway was already busy with cars and trucks making their early morning deliveries. Steam poured out of building vents, the pavement crawling with people already rushing to work. No one gave her a second glance despite her panicked expression and dirty clothes. She tried looking around for anyone that might be able to help. Across the road she spotted a payphone. She wondered if she might be able to call the emergency services, or perhaps beg some change to call Solas, loathe as she was to consider it. Still shaky she stumbled out into the road, focused on dragging her aching body over to what could mean safety in this foreign city.

As she made her way across the road she heard the screech of brake and the squeal of a horn. Someone cried out and as she looked up she felt something drive into her, flinging her body across the pavement.

Once again, the world faded to black.


	2. Chapter Two - Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you alright?"
> 
> There was a cool hand on her arm, dark blue eyes darting between herself and the machines that were now chattering away.
> 
> "I don't remember."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took so much longer to write than I wanted it to. Turns out starting a new project whilst in the middle of changing careers is not the best plan. Hopefully my next update doesn't take as long. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!

 

She was drifting.

 

Hands lifting her from the cold concrete...

                    ...eyes the colour of whiskey and gold, he's so scared...

          ...rushed voices, the lights are too bright...

                         ...a rush of air...

     ...soft sheets...

          ...hushed whispers over her, a voice like song says it will be okay...

... _His_ face fades from her view, once kind eyes are now sharp and resentful...

                    ... _but she tried_...

 

 

* * *

 

She was awake. 

There was a soft chorus of mechanical beeps and chirps as she looked around, tired eyes slowly taking in her surroundings. She was in a white room. Sluggishly she tried to think of more, her mind creeping and latching onto the right word. Hospital? She was in a hospital room. Something must have happened, but as she tried to cast her memory back she couldn't focus on anything, the abstract thoughts slipping away.

Groaning she tried to sit up, various tubes and wires tugging painfully at her skin, impeding her attempt to escape. The door in the corner of the room opened, a human woman with red hair strode forth, the corners of her white lab coat flapping against her legs 

"Ah Good morning! I was hoping you'd wake up today."

She watched the woman warily as she stood at the end of the bed, glancing over the clipboard in her hands. 

"I'm Doctor Leliana Victoire, and you're currently in Kirkwall General Hospital. I'm sorry to say you've been in an accident. It seems you've taken a nasty bump to the head. The good news however is that you're otherwise in fairly good health aside from a small laceration on your neck and some serious bruising. Are you with me so far? 

She nodded dumbly, the doctors expression somehow equally firm and caring. That made sense, she had been in an accident and someone must have taken her to the hospital. Offering a small smile the doctor continued.

"Now there is a problem I'm hoping you can help with. There was no form of ID on your person when you were found, and your dental records and fingerprints don't seem to be showing up on the Free Marches National Database. If you could provide your name and any other details we should be able to track down your medical records and go from there in terms of treatment. We can also let next of kin know where you are, I'm sure they must be worried."

Her mind stuttered as she tried to think. Her name? One of the monitors beside her bed started to increase, a panicked staccato cutting through the air as she tried frantically to think of anything that might be a name.

"Are you alright?"

There was a cool hand on her arm, dark blue eyes darting between herself and the machines that were now chattering away

"I don't remember."

Her voice was scratchy with disuse, the words barely heard but the doctor nodded, a grim expression on her face.

"Okay, can you remember anything else? Do you know why you're in Kirkwall? Do you remember how you got here?"

Tears sprung to her eyes as she tried desperately... but she couldn't think. Her memories were a blank page. 

Doctor Victoire patted her hand soothingly, muttering something to a nurse who had arrived during the panic. 

"I need you to take a deep breath for me. You're breathing too quickly and I don't want you to hurt yourself further. It is more common than you think for patients to have difficulty remembering things when they wake up. Yes there we go, deep breaths. Well done. Focus on breathing and I'm just going to arrange a couple of tests that should tell us what exactly is going on. Okay? I will leave the nurse with you, she will help so if you are in pain, you tell her yes?"

Stepping away the doctor issued a stern order to the nurse, leaving the room with a flourish as she hurried away. The nurse now stationed with her gave a wan smile before checking the readings on various machines, adjusting the sheets and pillows.

She lay back, her eyes sightlessly drafting over the spackled pattern on the ceiling. She tried to cast her mind back through her memory but each time she thought she could latch onto some kernel of information it slipped away. Giving up she let her eyes drift closed, hot tears falling over her cheeks as she felt a cold tendril of fear slip into her chest. What would become of her now?

 

* * *

 

It had been several days since she had first woken up. Despite various tests and scans she was still without her memories and the hospital still hadn't been able to turn up any information about her. Dr. Victoire had been in the day before with a book of baby names and had kindly asked if she wanted to look through. She had hoped one of the names might trigger a spark of recognition but after nothing had worked she had admitted defeat and had chosen a name for herself. 

Dr. Victoire had stopped in this morning and had commented that her new name suited her very well. She had also mentioned that she had a visitor coming in today. The doctor wore a secretive smile and wouldn't give up any information which only served to confuse further but she couldn't deny she was excited. 

She was reading the day's paper to pass the time when she heard a gentle knock on the door. Looking up she recognised Nurse Sparrow who stepped forward to reveal her visitor in the doorway. No one had actually explained who her visitor was to her but she desperately hoped that they knew each other already.

He was tall, even for a human she thought. His eyes were the colour of whiskey and he had a kind smile. Ignoring the fluttering sensation in her stomach she sat up in her bed, setting the paper aside. He slowly made his way over, and she noticed for the first time that one of his legs seemed to be in a cast. 

"Hi, I hope you don't mind me stopping by... I wanted to check in on you after the crash but they said you couldn't receive visitors until now."

She glanced to the nurse who was still stood near the door. Understanding her look of confusion, Nurse Sparrow cleared her throat, though not unkindly.

"Ah, This is Sergeant Cullen Rutherford, he was the one to push you out of the road when you had your accident. He's been calling to check up on you since you were both admitted. He's been very... _conscientious_."

Cullen was now blushing and trying desperately to avoid her eye, something she found quite endearing. Tilting her head as she studied him she smiled gently, gesturing to the chair near her bedside.

"Hello, I'm Ellana. Did you want to sit down for a bit?"

Cullen had regained his composure it seemed and he bowed his head, a little stiffly, before sitting down and offering his hand in greeting. His hand was warm and dry, the rough brush of callouses sending sparks through her fingers. 

Nurse Sparrow made a pleased sound and announced that she would leave the two of them to catch up, she didn't leave without winking at Ellana however. She just knew the nurse would be reporting back to Dr. Victoire, who Ellana suspected was secretly quite the romantic judging on the conversation she had had with the nurse about two technicians and their unresolved tension.

Ellana smiled expectantly at Cullen now that he was settled in the chair, his crutches leant gently against the bed. 

"I'm sorry I don't recognise you. I'm not sure how much the doctors told you but I'm afraid I've lost my memory."

Cullen's eyes widened a fraction before he nodded sympathetically. "Don't worry at all, in all honestly it all happened so fast I'm not sure you would have recognised me even with your memory. How are you otherwise?"

"Nothing broken, which is better than you can say I suppose?"

Cullen laughed gently, the corners of his eyes crinkling with mirth. Ellana decided she liked Cullen's laugh a great deal. She wondered if he laughed a lot. 

"I suppose that's true. I've fractured my ankle and they put a pin in place, but honestly in my line of work this is far from the worst injury I could expect."

"Oh that's right, you're a sergeant?"

Cullen seemed to immediately relax, she guessed the familiar topic easing his nerves. Why would he be nervous though?

"Yes, local police force. Nothing too exciting, it's mostly paperwork and management but it pays the bills and I can help people most days which is worth the occasional risks."

After some gentle prompting Cullen seemed happy enough to tell Ellana all about his life here in Kirkwall. She learnt of his rather tense relationship with his superior Meredith, he mentioned his landlord and casual friend Varric Tethras who Ellana decided Cullen liked a lot more than he tried to let on. He'd started telling her about the various places in Kirkwall that she ought to avoid and those she should go out of her way to explore. Before even of them realised visiting hours were over and Nurse Sparrow was hovering once more in the doorway.

"Thank you for coming to visit today Cullen. I don't think you realise how nice it's been to talk to someone about normal things."

Her thanks earned her a fond smirk, his eyes twinkling as he gathered up his crutches.

"So I'm on leave until my leg isn't quite so horrendous. Maybe I'll come back tomorrow, keep you company."

"Maybe you should."

With a playful salute Cullen left the room, Nurse Sparrow winking conspiratorially at Ellana before she accompanied him out. 

And so a new routine started up. Ellana would spend her morning being poked and prodded and asked all sorts of unanswerable questions, and then in the afternoon Cullen would visit and distract her from the mystery novel that was her life. After a couple of visits Cullen started bringing things with him. Various CD's, a book filled with famous movie quotes, a selection of photographs of places around the world. Cullen thought that perhaps if Ellana could recognise something it might help trigger her memory. Soon she spent her evenings listening to all sorts of music (she particularly enjoyed Ferelden folk music which amused Cullen to no end) whilst flipping through travel guides and compilations of various art styles. Cullen had also started to research her Vallaslin in hopes they might signify a clan her family was associated with but Ellana had a gut feeling that that particular line of inquiry would be a waste of time. 

After a few more weeks had passed Dr. Leliana started discussing "realistic expectations" and "immediate plans for the future" both of which carried a certain degree of foreboding. Kirkwall General was not the best funded hospital in the area, and considering Ellana had no assets to speak of they were left with little other option but to turf her out. Dr. Victoire had provided her with several leaflets on various shelters around the city, as well as a food bank and drop in support centre she could visit. It was clearly something that Leliana was not happy to do but Ellana couldn't help but feel utterly miserable about. She only had the clothes she had been wearing during the accident, even then they hardly felt like _hers_. They belonged to the enigmatic woman from her past. This other Ellana who she was trying desperately to know 

Cullen showed up as expected a few hours after Dr. Victoire's unwelcome news. He sat himself down by the bed without much preamble. Ellana supposed he'd noticed her morose mood.

"The nurse said you were feeling quiet today. Do you want to talk about it?"

Looking over at Cullen, Ellana was struck by the fact that he might be the only friend she truly had. It was... strange. This was something, someone, that was _hers_ , not something intangible belonging to her past. She fiddled with her hands in her lap, picking a the cuticle on her thumb. 

"The doctor said I have to leave. They can't afford to care for me anymore but they had hoped someone would report me missing and would come to find me. It's been over a month now though and there's been nothing."

Cullen watched her quietly, reaching forward to flip through the information packet about a local women's shelter that lay beside her.

"I don't know what to do. I suppose I need to get a job, but I'm not sure what I know how to do so where would I even start?"

Cullen looked away towards the window, clearly deep in thought. Ellana watched a muscle jump in his jaw as he considered this. After a few moments of silence he seemed to make a decision, his expression resolute and determined. Ellana wondered if he looked like this on duty? She'd hate to be on the wrong side of that look for sure. 

Nodding to himself Cullen looked back at Ellana and waved away the advice pamphlets. 

"I'm sure you'll be able to work something out. Don't worry. If you need help though, I'm sure a friend of mine needs a shop assistant. It's not... it's not the busiest shop ever but she would be able to pay you a fare wage."

"That would be very kind Cullen, thank you."

"Don't mention it. Now, I brought some pastries from that place I mentioned to you last week..."

"Is that the one with the scary girl who laced your cookies one day with chillies?"

"The very same. But these are good, trust me." 


	3. Chapter Three - A Clean Slate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which our damsel is rescued but it doesn't quite go to plan.

Ellana was stood outside the front of the hospital, dressed in a thin flannel shirt and some soft jeans which she had noticed had a fraying cuff on the left leg. The clothes were clearly old and well worn. Chosen for comfort. She wondered if she often dressed like this or if she'd chosen these pieces for a reason. 

There was a large tree in front of the hospital entrance. A plaque informed her that it had been planted in memory of a previous doctor who had died some years ago. The leaves had already turned for the year, soft sunlight peeking through amber leaves. Ellana pushed a fallen leaf around with her foot as she closely examined the list of directions to a shelter. Apparently a support worked had been planned to collect her but some emergency had meant Ellana would need to make her own way over. While many people seemed to mean well Ellana couldn't help but feel that Kirkwall was the wrong place to find yourself in this sort of situation. 

She was comparing her directions with a map of the local area when she noticed two broad boots stop in front of her. They were a deep brown leather and despite the scuff marks around the toes, seemed very expensive and well made. Looking up Ellana was surprised by a very roguish looking dwarf in a heavy leather coat. 

"Ellana right?"

"Um, right?"

The dwarf smirked and called over his shoulder to a nearby car that seemed to be hovering in the drop off zone.

"Hey Curly! She's right here. No need to send out a search party."

Now thoroughly confused Ellana peered past the dwarf to look at the passenger window of a dark grey sedan that was parked up in a short stay bay. The window was rolled down and Ellana had a clear view of Cullen in a forest green henley, sleeve rolled to the elbow as he leant out towards them. Raising his hand in a gentle wave Ellana felt the tips of her ears blush red as she turned back to the man before her. 

"Sorry what's going on?"

"We're here to rescue you from the bowels of this delightful city. Curly there mentioned you were getting kicked out today and asked for some help. I'm Varric, his long-suffering and entirely too generous landlord."

Ellana still had more questions than answers but followed Varric to the car all the same as he gestured for her to follow. With a flourish he opened the rear door for her to sit, before making his way round to the drivers seat. Cullen had turned around in his seat to look back to her, an almost sheepish grin on his face.

"I wanted to come meet you but Varric wouldn't let me get out of the car with my foot still like it is. How are you though?"

"I'm fine. A little confused... why are you here? And why is your landlord-"

Varric started the car and began to pull away, waving his hand noncommittally in the air.

"All in good time. First things first however, lunch. I would bet my ass that you haven't had a decent meal since you got here."

Frowning Ellana sat forward, looking between Cullen and the passing cityscape out the front window. "The hospital food wasn't that bad."

"Of course it was, it was hospital food! Don't try to tell me otherwise, I've visited that place enough times to know the truth. Now the place I'm taking you, that does proper food. None of that bland nutritious crap Leliana insists is good for you." 

"You know Leliana?"

Cullen huffed a gentle laugh and looked back over his shoulder once more, "Varric knows everyone."

The man in question chuckled to himself before turning off into the carpark of what looked like the seediest dive bar Ellana had ever seen. A ragged sign out front simply read "The Lusty Dragon" and it looked like there was someone fast asleep on a bench by the door. Varric parked the car, once again getting the door for Ellana while Cullen awkwardly exited with his crutches. Ellana hung back, slowly walking alongside Cullen as Varric led the way, pushing the front door aside without so much as a glance at the now snoring stranger on the bench. Maybe it was a normal situation at this place? Suddenly Ellana was wondering if it was really so wise for her to be here. 

Sensing her hesitation, Cullen paused lifting his hand from his crutch to squeeze her hand where it hung limply at her side.

"I know it doesn't look like it but you won't find a safer place. Trust me."

And oddly enough she did. Had she always been this trusting, or was it just Cullen?

Following him into the bar she quickly spotted Varric who had made himself at home in a leather seated booth. It was only around midday but there were already a few people with heads down on the worn wooden tables that littered the dim interior. A rundown looking radio set up on the bar top quietly crooned a lovesong, accompanied by the bartenders broken and mostly ad-libbed rendition. 

Ellana quickly hurried to slide next to Cullen in the booth just as a booming laugh erupted from the kitchen doors. A monstrously huge Qunari stepped forward, wiping his hands on a greasy apron that was slung about his hips. Spotting the trio he strode over, oozing confidence and power. Yet again Ellana wondered just who she had found herself in the company of. 

"Varric! And Cullen! What brings you to my establishment today?" He crossed his arms over his broad chest as he leant his hip agains the booth seat, his lone eye settling on Ellana as she shifted nervously. "Who's this?"

Seemingly familiar with the low purr of this man's voice, Cullen cleared his throat and leant forward on the table, the action subtly placing Ellana behind him. 

"A friend, Bull."

Bull chuckled and shook his head before looking to Varric who seemed to be watching the interaction with quiet amusement.

"I'm still not sure why I'm here. You said you would explain over lunch."

The dwarf nodded congenially, "And once we have lunch I'll do just that. Tiny, a round of your finest burgers for myself and my guests."

Bull grunted and pushed off the booth, seemingly happy to have an order to fill, although Ellana's instinct told her he'd be back for more information later. At Varric's insistence that the conversation was not best suited to have on an empty stomach, Cullen made idle chat with Varric about how he'd been managing at home. 

Once Bull had set down their lunch and had gone behind the bar to bother his long suffering business partner Varric dabbed at his mouth with a handkerchief he pulled from his jacket and leant back in his seat.

"So. Curly here tells me you've found yourself in a bit of a tight spot."

Ellana glanced over to Cullen who had offered her an assortment of condiments to dunk her fries in. She still wasn't sure what she liked best but Cullen seemed quietly determined to find out her favourite everything. Frowning around a mouthful of mayonnaise covered fries Ellana nodded at Varric.

"You're going to need a place to stay and a job if you're planning to stick around in Kirkwall."

Ellana snorted as she dipped a torn piece of her burger bun in some BBQ sauce. She much preferred this one. "It's not like I have anywhere else to go at this point. Cullen did tell you I have amnesia?"

"That's the spirit."

Cullen cleared his throat, "I hope you don't mind, but the idea of you having to stay at one of the shelters seemed unnecessarily cruel considering your situation. I know I mentioned I had a friend who needed a shop assistant but I thought Varric might be able to help you with finding somewhere to stay."

"Another tenant of mine just moved out so there's a little studio apartment available to you if you want. First month is on the house while you find your feet."

Ellana's eyebrows shot up at the casual offering, looking between the two men to see if either were joking. Venturing a hesitant look to Varric she smiled softly, "That's very generous of you Varric."

Spreading his hands in surrender he shrugged, "What can I say, I'm a bleeding heart. There is a catch though. Curly is still recovering and as much as I love crossing town every day to help him out, I had hoped you might be able to lend a hand when he needs it? "

Cullen seemed caught off guard by the caveat but Ellana nodded along happily. After all the man had practically saved her life twice now, helping him out now and then was hardly a difficult task. Besides, if she were to be perfectly honest with herself she looked forward to spending more time with the charming police officer. 

Seemingly pleased with the ease of the arrangement Varric clapped his hands and reached into his leather duster, leaving a few pristinely folded notes on the table. He ignored Bull's cry of protest from behind the bar and extended his hand to Ellana to help her out of the booth. He began discussing the apartment he had in mind for her, Cullen already offering to fix a new deadbolt to the door. The drive to the complex was a short one, and Ellana was pleased to see the neighbourhood wasn't too rough compared to the other parts of the city she'd seen so far. 

Cullen's foot was starting to trouble him so he ducked into his own apartment for a few moments while Varric unlocked the door to Ellana's own apartment with as much flourish and fanfare as she was coming to expect from the man. Any thankful and amazed comments died in her throat however as they stepped in and were met by a horrifying sight. It seemed that at some point a leak had sprung in the ceiling and there was now a pile of sodden plaster heaped in the kitchen area. A stream of water poured down through the ceiling, pooling in a clearly growing puddle on the laminate flooring. 

Varric let out a string of colourful curses as he strode forth to inspect the damage while Ellana hung back by the door, toying with a loose thread on her shirt sleeve.

"Well, shit." Varric rubbed a hand over his face as he looked up at the hole in the ceiling, his face screwed up in a fierce scowl. Looking back at Ellana, Varric offered a helpless shrug. "I'm sorry kid but I can't let you stay here until I can get a guy out to fix this, it's just not safe for you, especially as you're fresh out of the hospital."

Ellana mustered up a small smile. It was clear Varric was incredibly frustrated with the turn of events as he shepherded her through Cullen's open door and onto his couch. Cullen limped through on one crutch, a box of painkillers cradled in his hand. 

"What's wrong?"

"There's a hole in the ceiling. I've got to make a call, be right back."

Varric promptly walked out, angrily tapping at his phone before his voice filtered in from the corridor. Cullen had sat down on a large blue armchair that seemed a little worse for wear, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck as he looked over to Ellana.

"So back to square one I take it?"

"Looks that way."

Cullen cleared his throat before pointedly looking away to the front door. "You ah, you could stay with me you know." 

Ellana raised her eyebrows, "I don't kn-"

Realising his wording Cullen let out an embarassed laugh, a red flush spreading across his neck, "Oh Andraste no, I mean I have a spare room you could use. No, my sister Mia sometimes comes to stay so I have a room made up you're welcome to use. Until Varric fixes the leak."

Letting out a breath she didn't even realise she was holding Ellana giggled at the pair of them before grinning. "That sounds great Cullen, thank you for everything you're doing for me. I don't know why you've been so kind but I really do appreciate it."

Cullen's voice was soft and gentle, a small smirk tugged at the scar across his lip. "Don't mention it, I'm more than happy to help."

Varric's voice stopped fairly abruptly before he returned, his expression apologetic. "I don't think we're going to be able to have the place habitable for another 2 weeks at best Kid, I'll see if we can find you somewhere else to stay..."

"That's okay Varric, Cullen said I can stay here in his spare room."

Varric paused, looking pointedly at Cullen. "Did he now?"

Unaware of the silent conversation taking place between the two men Ellana continued, "It's really very kind of him, and this will make it easier for us to check up on each other so it's worked out for the best really." 

A smile slowly spread across Varric's face and Cullen seemed determined not to look away from the silent showdown taking place. Seemingly happy with whatever he had seen in Cullen's face Varric rubbed his palms together. 

"Well that sounds like a plan that couldn't go wrong if you tried. I suppose I'll leave the two of you to it then. Call me if you need anything but otherwise I'll probably stop by later in the week to check in next door."

With Varric gone, Cullen seemed to deflate into the armchair, sighing deeply with relief. After a beat of silence Cullen sat back up and reached for the laptop that lay on the beat up wooden coffee table.

"Right, let's get to work then shall we?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god Varric was so hard to write >_< Really hope I got his voice right!


	4. Chapter Four - Take Out & Customer Service

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellana meets her new employer and Solas enlists the services of Ferelden's most obnoxious but effective Private Investigator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGH. This chapter did not want to be written. Thank for those who are still reading this however! I truly appreciate your support <3 As always this is un-beta'd so apologies for any errors!

Within the first hour at Cullen's, Ellana realised he was a man who only felt at peace when he had a task at hand. Despite his crutches, Cullen had quickly shown Ellana around the modest apartment filled with well loved, if a little shabby, furniture. There were a handful of photos of Cullen with his family, their matching eyes and smiles evoking a sense of longing in Ellana's heart. 

They had decided upon take out for the evening, and Cullen had rather indulgently ordered a little of everything from the Antivan deli that was located around the corner. Once they were settled down around a small dining table Cullen was pointing out various dishes while he piled Ellana's plate up high with assorted grilled vegetables and what looked like a rich seafood rice dish.

"Of course none of this quite compares to the food back home."

Ellana struggled to swallow around an overly large mouthful of rice, "Home? I thought-"

Cullen chuckled, passing a paper napkin to Ellana as he did so. "Did the accent not give it away? No I'm from Ferelden originally. More accustomed to fish pie and cheese platters than this sort of fare. But I must admit the liberal use of seasonings and spices make for a pleasant change."

Ellana watched quietly as Cullen's eyes softened at the mention of his homeland. "Have you been away a long time then?"

"Mm, it's been about 8 years or so now? I'd originally been stationed in a little police department near Redcliffe but I was transferred after... ah after an incident." Clearing his throat Cullen looked away, it seemed he was trying to avoid Ellana's gaze. Sensing that this wasn't the time to pry Ellana nodded and despite her curiosity, pointed out a takeaway box that seemed to contain actual tentacles 

"I'm guessing Ferelden doesn't have anything like this? What am I eating here?"

Grateful for the heavy handed change in topic Cullen offered a small smile and continued to educate Ellana in the way of Antivan cuisine, the rest of the evening passing by with a sense of familiar ease.

 

* * *

 

The next morning Ellana lay in bed staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, the soft sounds of Cullen puttering about the kitchen slowly dragging her from the clutch of sleep. 

She had dreamt for the first time since the accident last night. She'd been walking through a forest, large gilt picture frames hanging from the boughs as she wound her way past their great roots. There were paintings looming out at her, their colours bright and garish in the muted colours of the dark woods. Each time she had tried to focus on an image the shapes would blur and shift from her gaze, refusing to form a coherent image. She picked up her pace, bare feet scraped raw by the undergrowth. She was driven by an animalistic need to  _know_. It was only when she felt a hot puff of wet air against the nape of her neck that she had jolted awake, her heart beating a panicked tattoo against her ribs. 

Deciding not to dwell on her strange dreams Ellana slipped out of the bed, the hem of one of Cullen's old academy t-shirts grazing the skin half way down her thigh. There was a pile of towels folded neatly on a chair by the bedroom door, Cullen must have dropped them off some time that morning while Ellana had still slept. Grabbing the largest one she quietly peeked out of the door before making her way down the hall to the bathroom Cullen had pointed out to her before hand.  

As she passed the doorway to the kitchen Cullen called out in greeting. hesitantly Ellana wandered through, towel clutched to her chest as Cullen paused his morning routine. Cullen turned with a smile which froze in an odd expression as Ellana crept forward. Suddenly very conscious of her state of undress Ellana shifted the hold on her towel to at least try to attempt some kind of modesty. Cullen shook his head as if to ground himself and cleared his throat. 

"Morning! I didn't wake you up did I?"

"No, no I had a strange dream that's all. Have you been up long?"

"Not really, Cassandra stops by in the morning before she opens up the shop, I'd hoped we'd been quiet but Cassandra isn't always good at... well quiet. She said it was okay for us to stop by later today if you like? I know you're only just out of hospital so if it's too much just say."

"No, no that would be good to meet her. She's the one with the bookshop yeah?"

"That's her. I have a feeling you'll get on. I'l leave you to it? I've put some coffee on and there's plenty to eat if you want to just help yourself?"

Ellana nodded and offered a sincere smile. Yet again Cullen seemed to be determined to be as hospitable as a person in crutches could be. 

Once in the shower all thoughts of her dream faded away, the hot water a blissful distraction from her tumultuous feelings. Once her skin was scrubbed pink she stepped out, wiping away the condensation that had gathered on the mirror. Staring at her reflection she wondered not for the first time just who she had been before. The winding lines of her vallaslin spread out like vines across her face, and she tongued the dark lines tattooed on her lower lip. Pushing her wet hair from her face she leant forward, turning her face from side to side. She could see a small scar running along her hairline, the mystery of its origin yet another source of frustration. It looked like she'd had her ears pierced some time ago and she could see that there were tiny flecks of gold in the greens of her eyes. 

Stepping back she towelled her hair and sighed, quickly returning to her new room to change and ready herself to meet Cassandra. Neither Varric or Cullen had really told her much but judging from the way they carefully chose their words Ellana had a feeling they were both at least a little terrified of her. Resolving to keep an open mind Ellana joined Cullen in the kitchen for breakfast, the two of them making quiet conversation over coffee. A few times Cullen had grimaced, his foot clearly causing him pain but when Ellana had asked if he needed painkillers he'd distracted her by ushering her to the door.

The weather was pleasant enough outside, a cool autumn breeze cutting through the unseasonably muggy air. Despite Cullen insisting this was a quieter quarter of the city, Ellana was amazed by the activity that swirled around them as they slowly made their way down the street. 

"So how do you know Cassandra?"

Cullen smirked as they rounded the street corner. "Well as she would tell it we met on the job whilst on a routine operation. In truth she completely undermined me on a mission but probably ended up saving my life in the process." At Ellana's curious glance Cullen smirked, "I was quite cocky in my youth, on that occasion Cassandra's task force took over the case I'd been working and she rather brutally shot down my suggestion to go in guns blazing. As it turned out the base we'd located was armed to the teeth and if we'd gone with my original plan we would have almost definitely taken casualties. As it was we ended up shutting down the operation and I only came away with a shattered knee."

"How did that happen?"

Cullen snorted, "Rotten floorboard if you can believe. I don't know why gangs can't set up in nice new warehouses, they only ever go for the horribly dilapidated ones." 

Giggling at Cullen's petulant tone Ellana didn't realise they'd finally made their way to the book store. The front was... intimidating. Towers of books crowded the display, peeling brown paint falling from the crooked wooden window frame. Cullen continued nonplussed, awkwardly managing to hold the door open for Ellana despite the narrow entrance and the added challenge of his crutches. Ellana stepped forward into the dingy shop, looking around at the dim set up. There were shelves and tables wherever you looked and every inch seemed to be filled with wobbling piles of various books. There was a narrow path between the stock that leaf to a wooden desk with a single lamp and a till that looked like it may have only contained cobwebs. A harsh looking woman sat behind the table, her narrow features partially hidden by a well worn paperback. Without looking up she huffed and turned the page.

"You're late."

Cullen didn't seem put off by the cold welcome, and instead grabbed a chair that had somehow escape the fate of all other surfaces in the shop and remained book free. Cullen gestured to Ellana to sit, who silently protested, instead pointing at his cast rather forcefully. 

"I'm sorry, I'd forgotten how much slower I am on crutches. I hope we didn't keep you from anything too pressing?" Despite addressing Cassandra, the silent argument continued, Cullen looking almost pained that Ellana was refusing this act of gentlemanly etiquette. Crossing her arms Ellana tried to level her best glare at Cullen, hoping she might be able to intimidate the man into sitting. Cassandra was now watching the exchange, her face cause between annoyance and bemused as Cullen eventually gave in and sat down. 

Cassandra carefully closed her book and removed the reading glasses that had been perched on her nose. 

"If you are quite done with that display..." Cassandra stood abruptly and proffered her hand, and Ellana felt her pulse ramp up as she shook hands with the imposing woman before her.   

"This is Ellana, I know I didn't go into much on the phone but,"

Cassandra raised an eyebrow at Cullen cutting him off quickly, "Varric has explained everything. I assured him I do not require an assistant but considering the circumstances I'm sure I can find something for you to do." 

Ellana tried to offer a grateful smile but Cassandra only seemed to look at her more suspiciously than before. Cullen rubbed the back of his neck as a thick tension filled the silent room. 

"I could clean for you."

"Pardon?"

"The books? I could organise them for you?"

Cullen's eyes widened slightly as he looked over at Cassandra who seemed to be listening very closely to what Ellana was now suggesting. 

"I think, I feel like I was good at organising things from before. I could do that for you? Make the shop more um, welcoming to customers?"

"But I don't want customers."

"I'm sorry?"

Cassandra crossed her arms, "I said I do not want customers. People coming in and getting the books dirty, asking asinine comments about book suggestions. Hardly any of them have any real idea what they are speaking of. And that's just the ones who actually want books. There are those who just come in here to... to kill time or shelter from the rain." As she gained momentum Cassandra's accent seemed to get thicker and Ellana looked over at Cullen panicked. The man was no help of course as he tried to hide a smile behind a hand. 

"Well. I could discourage the customers I suppose. So they don't disturb you."

Cassandra seemed to mull this over, her finger tapping against her arm as she thought. 

"Very well. If you must you may start today, I can show you around the shop itself and point you to where the cleaning supplies are." Seemingly decided on the plan Cassandra nodded and started walking to the rear of the shop, shouldering her way through a stained velvet curtain that covered the door to the stockroom. 

"Cullen why is everyone you know insane?"

Cullen barked a laugh, his eyes crinkling at the sides as he held his hands up in supplication, "If I didn't know any better I'd say it was the city's effect on people. Cassandra is a little brash but once she warms up to you trust me, you'll get on well."

Deciding to trust Cullen, Ellana sighed and pushed her hair off her face, wondering how different this was to her previous life.

 

* * *

 

Solas strode down the dingy alleyway, his pace relentless. Upon spotting the hazy glow from a security light he sped up, his fist hammering at a door, a sticker encouraging debt collectors and solicitors to "do their worst" peeling away under the onslaught of rain. From inside the office Solas could hear several deadlocks unlocking as well as the enthused bark of a dog. 

A small elven woman opened the door, large eyes peering up at Solas behind a number of chain locks. 

"I have an appointment."

"Mmm. Do you have a reference ser?"

Solas pinched the bridge of his nose. He hardly had time for such trivialities but took a calming breath all the same. 

"The lone wolfs howls at the dawn."

The door slammed, the sound of a chain dragging across the lock and the barking seemed to increase in volume. 

The door opened, the elf somehow holding back a huge slobbering mabari. "This way please."

Solas stepped forward out of the rain, removing his trench coat and brimmed hat as he took in the small office's waiting room. The air had the stale smell of cigarette smoke and there were a number of unidentifiable stains on both the carpet and ceiling.

"If you'd like to take seat I'll let the investigator know you're here."

As the woman left Solas remained standing. He was clutching at a leather briefcase, his white knuckle grip the only outward sign he was under any kind of stress. 

After a few beats of silence there was a loud crash from down the corridor the woman has scurried down with the dog. She reappeared, her face looking flushed. 

"If you would like to come with me ser."

Solas followed, a feeling of trepidation coiling around his spine as he was lead to a frosted glass door. Steeling himself he walked through, to be met with a surprisingly clean office. Everything seemed to have it's place.

The woman behind the small desk stood up, her eyes quickly raking over his appearance before moving forward to shake Solas' hand. 

"Hello! You must be Solas. Lovely weather we're having!"

"Serah Hawke if you please I would like to skip the pleasantries. As I'm sure you can appreciate, this is a time sensitive matter."

Blue eyes danced with mirth as she moved back behind the desk. "Straight to business I see. Personally I don't see why we can't make something so dreary as this a little more cheerful but I suppose given the circumstances I can't blame you for being a little crotchety." She sat down in the leather desk chair with a flourish, waving her hand at the matching chair opposite for Solas to take. 

Taking a seat Solas began to remove a crisp manilla envelope from his briefcase, pushing it across the desk to Hawke who was now sipping coffee from a novelty mug. Gritting his teeth Solas pressed forward. This was the last option available to him and despite outward appearances Hawke's reputation for results preceded her. 

"Oh isn't she lovely? Your wife?"

"Not quite."

Hawke glanced up from the printed still from the manor's CCTV system, her gaze sharpening. "I see. And you said in your original call you don't know what would have caused her to leave?"

"No. If I knew I'm sure I would have been able to pinpoint where she went."

Hawke hummed as she began flicking through the rest of the paperwork Solas had brought along. "You say you shared an account but as you mentioned before I can't see any unexplainable expenses... have you been able to get hold of a phone bill?"

Solas sighed with irritation. "I did but they've not been able to provide an itemised bill. It's a monthly contract they've not listed the calls made from her phone."

"Hm. That makes things a little tricker but not impossible." Hawke returned the images and details to the folder and folded her hands in front of her. "Solas, I'm sure you have entertained the thought already but I do need to ask. It seems your... partner does not want to be found. Now as much as I would like to help you, I cannot in good conscience pursue this case if I believe your reunion would lead to her endangerment. Now, I will ask you again. Have you given her any cause for her to leave in this manner?"

An indignant scoff left Solas's mouth as he leant back in the chair. He couldn't believe he was hearing this, that this woman, this stranger, would even dare to suggest he would do anything to hurt... No it was simply inconceivable. 

"Do you speak to all of your clients in this manner?"

Hawke mirrored his pose, going so far as to kick her boots up onto the desk. Absently Solas noticed a pebble stuck in the grooves of her left sole. "No not really. Just the shifty looking ones."

"I don't need to put up with this..."

"And yet here you are. In a dingy little office in downtown Denerim where no reputable man of business would be caught dead. Only you're not reputable any more are you? Tell me, wherever shall you go with this? The police? An investigation will be opened and the media will have a field day. After that lengthy public trial you already went through I'm sure another public scandal is just what you're after."

Solas gripped the arms of the chair, willing himself to calm down in the face of such an insulting line of enquiry.

"I told you. It's not like her to behave this way. I did what I could to protect her but there's a very real chance someone has got to her. They could be blackmailing her or something equally sinister."

"If that's the case why wouldn't she tell you?"

"To protect me? She's always had a habit of trying to deal with things like this on her own before telling me. It's not too out of the ordinary for her. And she'd been... distant the few days before. But there hadn't been anything to suggest that the issue lay with our relationship." 

Rubbing a hand over her eyes Hawke gave a weary sigh. Looking back at Solas she met his gaze, her expression steely as she seemed to make a choice. 

"Fine. I'll take the case. If I get one whiff of foul play however I will do what I feel is best for the vulnerable party. My assistant Orana will be in touch before the week's end. She will have a list of documents required and I'll begin the process."

"Orana?"

"Orana. The nervous looking woman who let you in? Did you not ask her name? How rude." Deciding the conversation was over Hawke slammed her feet onto the floor, storming over the door to escort Solas out. 

He took his leave, tugging his coat collar up against the rain that was still coming down in sheets outside. Swallowing a growl of frustration he began the trip back to his hotel room, the bitter taste of dissatisfaction in his mouth. Despite making progress he still felt helpless. He despised having to trust in some back alley PI when his vhenan was out there, possibly in danger because of his own shortcomings. 

Knowing there was nothing more he could do for today Solas returned to the hotel, where he planned to spend another sleepless night scanning public records and obituaries just in case. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for some reason I've always wanted a Dragon Age x Black Books crossover with Cassandra as everyone's favourite book shop owner. It brings me great joy.


	5. Intermission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And Cullen was the one to push you out of the way of the truck initially yes?"
> 
> Ellana felt there was a right and wrong answer to this but for the life of her she couldn't work out what they were. "Um, yes? He came to visit me after I had been hospitalised, and then after he found out about my injuries he kept coming back to keep me company."
> 
> Cassandra let out a slightly strangled sound, visibly trying to collect herself before interrupting."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how many people are even reading this but sorry for disappearing! It's been a very difficult month in terms of my personal life so this chapter was nearly abandoned several times. Things are looking up now though so I'm hoping I can get back into a regular rhythm with updates. 
> 
> To those still reading thank you! Hope you enjoy :)

"So Curly, how's the new roommate?"

Cullen was currently reheating some leftover take away, his phone on speaker as he slowly moved about the kitchen. He'd left Ellana with Cassandra despite both women shooting him desperate looks that all but begged him to stay. He knew it had been a little cruel leaving them both in an unfamiliar situation like that but ultimately it would be for the best. Ellana seemed to be coming out of her shell more and more these days and Cassandra needed a little push when it came to socialising. 

Not long after Cullen had returned to his apartment Varric had called, no doubt scrounging for information on his newest stray.

"Ellana is just fine thank you. I've left her at the shop with Cassandra. I think they'll get along once they move past the initial awkwardness."

Varric's tinny laugh echoed in the small kitchen, "Oh sure, because Cassandra is such a people person. You're probably right though, I have a feeling our enigmatic friend might be able to worm her way into that woman's soft gooey centre."

Cullen made a face at his phone as he sat down at the kitchen table. It was wobbling again, he'd have to take another look at that. "Varric I know you fancy yourself a wordsmith but please stop with the imagery. My appetite can only take so much."

"Prude. Anyway. I'm stuck in meetings in the city today but one of my guys said they could drop off your meds this afternoon if you're in. How does 4 sound?"

Cullen's grip on his fork tightened. He cleared his throat, "Sure, yes 4 should be fine."

It was worryingly quiet on the other side of the phone.

"You know Curly, you don't have to manage it like this."

They were not having this conversation again. "Varric I appreciate your concern but I simply can't trust myself. This is for the best. Really."

"Hmph, fine. I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit but what do I know, I've only been your friend for nearly a decade."

"Overbearing landlord. There's a difference."

"You wound me." Varric's dry tone managed to earn a small grin from Cullen, "Hey why don't you talk to Ellana about it? Seeing as she's living with you..."

Sputtering Cullen glared at the screen of his phone, as if Varric might feel is wrath through the line somehow. "No, don't you dare. It would be completely unfair of me to burden her with that. I'm only letting you help because you insisted. And she's not living with me, she's just staying until you can fix the studio." Cullen hated how feeble his protest sounded, especially as he could hear the smile in Varric's voice as he continued.

"Yes, and how is that going? You've dodged my questions about her quite well. You know, I was talking to my construction guy and he doesn't know that he can come out next week, it may take longer than planned to get the ceiling fixed. Not that you would mind Ellana staying a bit longer would, right?"

"Varric I am hanging up now."

"Aw you're no fun Curly. Fine see if I care. 4 o'clock. Don't forget."

Cullen mashed the disengage button and groaned into his lunch, agitatedly running his hands through his hair. Getting to know Ellana over the past few days had been... wonderful. She was charming, sweet, and she had a devious side that he was just starting to see peek through her shyness. When he'd seen her in his old t shirt this morning he had been dumbstruck, just the sight of her swamped by his clothing had stirred something deep and possessive in his chest. But there was no way for him to be even considering any kind of flirtation. For him to prey on a young woman recovering from such a severe trauma... it was unthinkable. Cullen had made enough mistakes in the past, and while this was different he didn't want to be that same impulsive and selfish young man again. No, he would resign himself to the role of helpful and supportive friend. She would hopefully regain her memories and they would be able to reunite her with whoever it was she had left behind. Speaking of, Cullen needed to continue his research on memory retention. He couldn't pursue anything more than friendship, but he would at least be as supportive as he could while she went through this. 

 

* * *

 

"So. You truly remember nothing from before you woke up?"

Ellana glanced over her shoulder to Cassandra who was peering from behind her novel. She had decided to start by dusting the shop which had turned out to be horrible idea and the pair had spent the last 10 minutes choking back dusty air while they frantically tried to open the windows to let some kind of ventilation in. Cassandra had returned to the safety of her book and armchair while Ellana tried to rectify the situation and so the past hour had been spent in tense silence. 

Turning to face Cassandra with feather duster in hand, Ellana shrugged. "No it's really weird. I remember vague things. Like country names, which year it is... but I don't remember any personal details. Cullen has been very helpful in catching me up though. Like he's been telling me a lot about Kirkwall and what it's like."

Cassandra carefully put her book down and leant forward on the desk. For a moment Ellana was reminded of a nature documentary she'd seen in hospital. A wyvern had been hunting for game in the wild and there had been a beautiful shot of the fierce creature settling into the dirt before she pounced on an unsuspecting prey. Cassandra seemed to be searching Ellana's face for something before she spoke.

"And Cullen was the one to push you out of the way of the truck initially yes?"

Ellana felt there was a right and wrong answer to this but for the life of her she couldn't work out what they were. "Um, yes? He came to visit me after I had been hospitalised, and then after he found out about my injuries he kept coming back to keep me company."

Cassandra let out a slightly strangled sound, visibly trying to collect herself before interrupting.

"And now you are staying in his spare room?"

"Yes... the place I was going to stay at had a leak so Varric asked if I could help Cullen while his foot heals. Cassandra are you okay? You look pained?"

Cassandra had pulled a small notebook from her desk drawer and began making frantic notes. Without saying another word she tucked the book away and smoothed out her hair. "Everything is fine. It is simply odd to hear Cullen acting like...  _that_."

"Is he not normally polite?"

Cassandra huffed and looked almost frustrated. "No, rather he is polite to the point of fault. What I mean is, he is not the type to be so open with his space. He has a habit of keeping his loved ones at arms length."

Before Ellana could follow up on that tidbit of information the bell above the door chimed and the air filled with a warm, heady spice. 

"Cassandra I know you can be impolite but this is just cruel"

A moustachioed stranger sauntered into the shop, dressed in tight jeans and a purposefully torn black t-shirt which seemed to be referencing an old tevinter cult. Ellana hoped it was ironic.

"No, get out, I am in the middle of something very important-"

"Yes, I noticed that you were cleaning for the first time in... well since you first inherited the damn place. More interestingly however, you seem to have uncovered a delight amongst the piles of dust and despair."

Dorian waved vaguely at Ellana, still perched on top of a step-stool. 

"My my, I said to myself, there's something you don't see everyday, when I spotted our golden detective poking around. More so considering his pint-sized companion..."

Cassandra was outright scowling now and Ellana tried to slowly return to her task, hoping that she could avoid being dragged further into the tense conversation. Well, it was tense on Cassandra's part. Dorian seemed to have an air of amusement about him, as if needling the shopkeeper was a fond and familiar pastime. 

"And then I thought to myself, who on earth could this interesting new face be? And why has she been recruited to clean up the affront to literature that you profess to look after? Not that I'm complaining mind you, it's nice to see someone making an effort to make this place look presentable. 

"I will have you know-"

"When you made no effort to come over and introduce our new shared acquaintance propriety begged that I take it upon myself. So here I am, aren't you lucky?"

Ellana was transfixed by the bulging vein in Cassandra's forehead as she tried desperately to reign in her temper. While she tried to regain control Dorian fixed Ellana with an appraising eye and smiled warmly before dipping his head in a shallow bow. 

"Dorian Pavus, House Scion, Purveyor of the Occult, Taste Maker, Local Fascination... not in that order necessarily"

Ellana couldn't help but grin at his introduction, and she had to wonder how someone as straight laced as Cullen could possibly know as many colourful personalities as he seemed to. 

"Um, Ellana, Amnesiac, Shop Assistant... that's all I've got so far."

"Amnesiac? Aren't you the mystery of the week!"

"Don't you have a store to attend to?"

"I do but this is far more interesting, surely you can see that Cassie."

Cassandra groaned, throwing her hands up in exasperation as she left the storefront, loudly making her way to the backroom whilst muttering to herself about frauds and charlatans. 

Dorian grasped Ellana's hands and beamed down at her. "I hope you're sticking around. I get the feeling you're going to be lots of fun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a shorter update this time, the second half was very nearly deleted several times. I'm hoping my next chapter will be better!


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